I might not elope after all

Things resolved today:

My dad AND mom will walk me down the aisle on Dec. 19, 2009.

I know it sounds unusual... but anything to appease my mom.

I will have a father-daughter dance.

And then I will have a step-father daughter dance.

And my dad is perfectly okay with all of this.

And (for now) so is my mom.

My dad has been wonderful throughout this whole thing- reiterating that it is my wedding and therefore whatever I want or need to do, he is okay with it.

Annnnd....

(drumroll please)

I have a very very likely (dad says 100% if if I want it) reception venue.

The Tower Club. 48th floor of Thanksgiving Tower in Downtown.

Bargain deal.

Beautiful view. 3 sides are floor to ceiling windows. Chandeliers. OMG OMG OMG.

Now, no contract has been signed yet, so I am trying not to get my hopes up too high- because for all I know it could come crashing down next week, but I swear if this comes together I will thank God as much as I did when He provided for me staying at my (highly expensive) university all four years. Either way, I will thank God for letting me get married to such an incredible man, and regardless of my familial issues, I will thank God for both my parents being around for my wedding. 

But seriously- I have had nightmares about what I was going to do about the reception...

The economy is horrible. Dad is in danger of losing his job at all times. If dad loses his job, a large chunk of the funding for my wedding would disappear. In turn, this would cause a huge uproar between me and my mom. Mom would insist that if dad doesn't pay, he can't participate in the wedding, etc (I know this sounds wretched, and it really sucks, but you kind of have to know the extensive and nasty background of my family and parents and thier divorce/life after divorce). I was starting to think that I might not have a reception at all.  

Anyways, so I am so so thankful that God has, in part thus far, answered my prayers. Dad could still lose his job, but if we lock into this contract soon, it will be a done deal hopefully. I am just not getting too attached to the idea in case it all falls apart. So you should pray too, that God provides and holds my family- both sides- together. Not just for my wedding, but just in general. And perhaps, as long as you're praying, pray that mom learns to let go of that past. 

Other things I have been considering:

Since my wedding and reception will be in the afternoon, and end relatively early (around 6:15ish pm), CB and I are considering having an after party at some cool bar/dance place/restaurant that has bar and dancing in the city... CB and I leave reception- people throw crap at us... we get into limo and arrive at hotel... go upstairs... change... do married stuff... then go to party, where we aren't paying for the drinks. And everyone dances and has a raging good time. We leave party and return to hotel. Sleep. Leave for honeymoon ASAP in the morning. Good idea, no? 

About that 'parents getting better' statement...

I was mistaken.

They are not more agreeable, or compromising, or anything. They have simply- for less than 24 hours- removed me from the circle. Until mom called this afternoon and discussed how Dad still hasn't said how much his ultimate bottom line would be. Dad hasn't really committed to paying for any part of this.

I am starting to get the feeling that Dad does not truly want to pay for any part of my wedding, but knows he will look like an ass if he says so. In the meantime he is going to keep me and my mom running in circles to figure it all out until mom finally gives up and says, 'Fine. I'll pay.' It is so sad really.

To me, he insists me wants me to have a wonderful, classy wedding and that it will all be taken care of (take note that he did not say, 'and I will make sure it is taken care of'). To mom he just keeps going around and around about the economy and never ever says he is willing to pay any amount.

This is literally the most emotionally stressed I have felt about anything in a long time. And it's ridiculous really. I know. It is just an effing wedding. But it is my wedding, and I have always dreamed of having an elegant evening winter wedding where my Dad (ugggh- a whole different debate to be dealt with since there is a stepdad AND a dad, and stepdad was around more than dad when I was little) walks me down the aisle, and the reception has dancing and yummy food and lots of fun, and all my dearest friends are around and everything is just beautiful.

I don't even ask that it be lavish- I would really prefer simple- thus my desire to get married in the beautiful, albeit costly, Perkins Chapel. They don't allow any more than 3 flower arrangements in set locations and very minimal decoration. It is that gorgeous on the inside. I imagine the reception being fun with lots of dancing and hot hor'deouvres. No sit down dinner. No formal gown kind of event. But cocktail dresses and sportcoats. Elegant simple centerpieces and beautiful, tasty bride and groom cakes.

For this kind of fare, the lowball number CB and I came up with- and I am talking seriously lowballing it- it is just under 14 grand. OMMMMGGGGG. I just want to hide in a box. Then fly somewhere where I don't have to hear my parents argue about who is paying for what, and where I don't have to hear my dad talk about how little my wedding should really cost.

So while it is just a wedding. And it is still 14 months out. I can't bear the idea of my dad making every little decision that I want to make myself. I don't want him breathing down my neck, constantly reminding me of the fact that he is so unwilling to pay for his one and only daughter's wedding. It is not like he will ever have to do this again.

I want to get on a plane with CB, fly somewhere where I can't hear my parents argue, or my dad spieling about how much he doesn't think my wedding should cost more than 10 grand, nor does he want to pay that much, somewhere where it can be CB, myself, a witness and a pastor, and get married in peace.

But then again, that is not at all what I really want.