If you are the praying sort, pray that he will remember all that he has studied over the past 5 weeks (not to mention the 2 years of coursework), approximately 11 hours a day. Pray that he will get the version of the test that has less Pharmacology and more Pathology. Pray that his nerves are calm. Pray that he is focused and can think clearly. Pray that he is overall calm. Pray that his text anxiety is enough to keep him on his toes and focused, but low enough that he doesn't blank out. Pray that he can remember the words- especially the drugs- and the differences between them. Pray that this goes better than any practice test he has attempted. Pray that he scores around a 200 or better.
If you are the finger crossing sort, cross your fingers.
If you are the lucky rabbit's foot sort, rub the rabbit's foot.
If you are the well wisher sort, wish him well.
If you are the good vibe sender sort, send over some good vibes.
If you are the Buddhist sort, rub Buddha's belly for him.
Whatever you are, please please please keep CB in your thoughts and prayers. I know he isn't dying, but this is life goal, his dream, his passion. I don't want him to lose his chance to achieve his goal. I don't want to see him devastated. I don't want to see his hard work, his hours of studying, his constant efforts to memorize so many things in such short time go to waste. I don't want to see his good heart, his kindness, his ability to work with people and help people feel better, his good clinical skills (because believe me, in this area he excels in school), his desire to help people, his desire to make a difference, what will eventually be a phenomenol bedside manner go to waste.
I often pray for God's will to happen in this situation. I know in my brain that whatever it outcome is, it is probably what was supposed to happen, but I cannot reconcile myself to the idea of CB not continuing medical school, not when it is what he so desperately wants to do and what I know he will be so good at. At the end of the day, whatever will be, will be, but in the meantime I am going to pray like hell that whatever will be, will be CB in medical school.
And if not? I will be proud of him. I will be proud of his hard work. I will be proud of his determination. I will more than anything be proud of his continuing positivity and perseverance in the face of what was one letdown, one beating, one disappointment after another. And I will stand by him and know that he has done his absolute best and given it his all, and I will never be ashamed.
But he deserves this. He deserves his chance at being a doctor. And when he gets there, you will be damn lucky to be his patient.
1 comment:
we're praying and crossing and rubbing and wishing and sending...and praying some more.
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