Saturday, July 11, 2009

A breakthrough

I think moving away from my home area (I say home 'area' as opposed to home 'town' because I didn't really live in my hometown, but I did live only 30 minutes from it) is going to drastically improve my relationship with my family... my mother at least.

Don't get me wrong. I love my mother. Adore her. She is an excellent mother who has provided me with nothing but the best, and she is the absolute picture of a strong woman in my eyes. But have mom and I hang out for more than 6 hours straight? No way. We would start fighting. Possibly because we are both highly opinionated and I tend to have a bad temper and get easily annoyed. Whatever it is... we usually get irritated with one another and need a 'time out' from each other if we are around each other too long. Plus, my mom is a stickler for details and absolute cleanliness. I? Am not. I'm not a filth lover, I just don't find it necessary to dust the corners of the ceiling for cobwebs once a month. So sorry.

Hence my nervousness about mom visiting me down here in our new house. 1. It isn't fully unpacked. We are down to the last 10 boxes, literally, out of over 100. But still, not finished. 2. Up until we bought her a plane ticket, I hadn't cleaned anything except the toilets, which the management company left filthy and caked with nastiness. I had scrubbed those on my own accord because like I said, I don't love filth. The rest of the house though? Not yet cleaned. And 3. I just want it to be just right before mom visits, lest she find anything unacceptable.

So I spent yesterday attacking the house. I cleaned everything, and I vacuumed. I moved the boxes into a more out of the way location. I set up the guest room to look nice, though it is still not complete. And I sorted out some of CB's crap that was still everywhere. I must say, the house looked gooood when mom arrived. And, I am glad to say, she LOVED it. Thought I did an excellent job decorating and that the furniture looked perfect. She did give me some tips on how to clean some things, because she wouldn't be my mom if she didn't.

Unfortunately, CB was on-call yesterday with his surgical team (that is his current rotation: general surgery) so he had to stay all night at the hospital. Mom and I were left to our own devices and knack for arguing ALL night and even some this morning. And you know what? We didn't argue. Not once. We just had a good time enjoying each other's company and laughing. She shared stories about when she first learned how to drive a manual, which made me feel better because I was nervous she would be all critical or a nervous wreck riding in my car with me, the nervous new manual driver. She wasn't at all though. She told me about all the mistakes she made when she had one. It was so so so nice.

We talked about my new house and how I had decorated everything and where pictures could go once I started hanging them. We went out to eat and talked about CB and how excited I am to be married to him, and how we are even more excited about our wedding in December since we won't have a mess of paperwork and stressful crap to deal with. She shared that a friend of hers had told her that she had attended a wedding where the bride and groom were extra relaxed... when she pointed out that they were so calm and just appeared to be having such a good time and not anxious or a nervous wreck or anything, they explained that they had gotten married 3 weeks early just so they wouldn't have to be nervous about anything on their wedding day. I was glad my mom's friend told her that story, so she could know we are not the only ones in history to do this.

Basically, it was a really good time. We went to dinner and watched a movie back at the house. I was actually sad when she left today.

The distance? Really good for my mom and I's relationship. I think it makes us appreciate each other more, regardless of our differences and annoying similarities.

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