Anyway, I owe something like 3 days worth of good things/bad things... and let me tell you, bad things are a-stacking up on me right now.
So here we go:
Monday, 9/21:
Good thing: I did not snap at anyone out of frustration and I did not cry in morning faculty devotion (not that I usually do... it is just that this particular day I felt like crying and I think it is good that I held it in during that particular time)
Bad thing/need to improve: How on earth do I get the 4th graders to understand that I'm not trying to ruin their life? I just want them to know what they need to know so that we can move onto new, fun things.
Tuesday, 9/22:
Good thing: A girl I teach randomly surprised me first thing in the morning with a small Hershey's bar. And I got some good hugs from my students and from cheerleaders. And I didn't have to teach my fourth grade class that I seem to be miscommunicating with.
Bad thing/thing to improve: I need to make my lesson plans online FAR more consistent. Because I never know how fast or slow my class is going to move, I end up not assigning things and then assigning new things and basically it doesn't really match up with what it says online- which the parents check... of course.
Today, Wednesday, 9/23:
Good thing:
I got to hang out with my friend in the upper school for an hour when I had a break today. You know. To vent. The fifth graders seemed to understand what I was talking about today. The third graders did well for the most part on their very first vocabulary quiz!
Bad thing/thing to improve:
I got an email from a mom whose daughter I coach in cheerleading and whose son I teach Latin. She wanted to arrange a meeting with me, which of course I went ahead and set up. When I asked what the meeting was going to be about, she informed me that her kids were originally so enthusiastic about me but that enthusiasm has waned as they have heard me make "negative comments" about their previous coaching/teaching. And that young boy is particularly down about Latin because I had said something to the effect of: you all never work hard in Latin and that is going to change. And she went on to say that a perception is being created about me and that perception is fact in the mind of those who hold it. Ouch. Granted, she also said she thought they might be misunderstanding me and so they should listen more closely, etc.
Still though, I was flabbergasted. And hurt. And feel exactly like it looks outside: grey, cold and rainy. And my first instinct is to defend myself and my actions. I would never intentionally be negative about their prior coaching or teaching, and if I had said anything it would be that their previous teacher did the very best she could and we are going to work to get them where they need to be. And I LOOOOVE the girls' previous cheer coach. She is the best friend I have at that school. Anyway, so the meeting isn't until Friday but I don't know if I can wait that long to address this. I called the mom and left a voicemail saying that I would really like a chance to just briefly speak with her and hear more about the situation. I spoke with my mentor and friend in my old city about it and she said to not defend myself no matter how badly I want to... just to listen to what the woman has to say and say, "Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. That is not at all what I intended to get across and I will do my best to monitor my words better than I have in these first 3 weeks of school. Thank you." Because really... it doesn't do me any good to explain myself or defend my own actions.
Nevertheless... it sucks. And it hurts. And I am just sitting on the verge of tears perpetually this evening. And how lame is it that ONE person, ONE parent, out of 149 sets of parents, can ruin my whole day? How infuriating is it that one person's actions out of the several who are telling me that I am doing a good job, can make me feel like the worst teacher on the planet? How stupid is it that right before I received that email on my BlackBerry, I had just been told by another parent- face to face- that her daughter says Latin is her favorite subject every day. That her daughter loves it, and that as soon as I received and read that email, I immediately forgot those kind, encouraging words. I know there are many who could just let it slide off their back and not think twice. I am not one of those people. I have accepted this fact about myself. But geez I long for a day when I can open my email and not have a heart attack when I see emails from parents.
1 comment:
I just wanted to offer you a few words of encouragement since I know how upsetting it can be to receive criticism from parents. I tend to wear my feelings on my sleeves and dwell on things, too, so I can totally understand where you are coming from. Obviously we have the best intentions, but it is impossible to be perfect all the time and no matter how great of a job you're doing, someone is bound to be unhappy with something. I think your mentor gave you great advice...it is so tempting to want to defend yourself, but listen to the parent and only explain yourself if she asks you to. If she is the ONLY parent who is bringing these things to your attention, take it with a grain of salt. There are many other voices who have spoken highly of you. Plus, many parents simply do not have a framework to understand teachers and what they have to do/deal with, unless they happen to be teachers, too. Try not to worry too much about the meeting! It may end up being a much smaller deal than you're anticipating. Good luck!
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