Best Friends, Wedding dresses, and San Antonio

Those are the 3 biggest things occurring in my life in the past week or so.

My very best friends on the planet, my CO-maids of honor (seriously), flew into town 2 Thursdays ago. They waited all day for me to get out of school, and then they made a sneak attack on my classroom. I wasn't in there, buuut that's okay, because when I came walking up to my room they turned around and it was one of the best surprises of my life. I was as surprised, if not more surprised, than I was when CB proposed (I mean- that was a HUGE surprise and big life moment, but I knew it was coming at some point... my bff's coming into town was completely unexpected). There is a video of them surprising me, but I do not have it in my possession so I cannot post it. If we are friends on the facebook you can look at it there. 

They had gotten me Friday off work. Subs had been arranged for all my classes. I was going to play hookey to hang out with my pals from Paris, France and Florida. Basically it was awesome. They had shirts made for the occasion:

As for my 'diet' and workout plan... it was spoiled for that weekend, but it doesn't really matter when something like this comes along. So all the surprises they had planned were as follows:

Lunch at On the Border on Friday, aka: margaritas at 11:45 am.

Mani/Pedi party

Dinner at the fanciest restaurant I know... seriously. The Old Warsaw. A-mazing. We dined on escargo, crab cakes, lobster bisque, salmon, swordfish, veal, chocolate souffle and complimentary champagne. It makes my belly growl just writing it.

That all was on Friday. Saturday was reserved for WEDDING DRESS SHOPPING! EEEEE! I had been putting off dress shopping all along because I didn't have my best friends to go with me, I was afraid I wouldn't find something I liked, I was afraid to look at the pricetags, etc. But now with two whores (not literally, fyi) I couldn't avoid it.

They took me to two places. I thought I had found THE dress at the first place, but then in the snotty, crowded second place I happened upon a beautiful, unlikely choice and it ended up being perfect. I ordered it last Wednesday. 

That night they took me to see Bride Wars (great movie if you are getting married and don't feel like watching a movie with a deep meaning. It was cute). 

Lastly, on Sunday, we went to lunch at a yummy eatery place and then had our Second Annual SMU photoshoot. Basically that is where all of us met, so we have gone back there for the past two years in January and taken pictures all over campus together. We plan on making it a yearly tradition. Next years will have to come early though, as we will all be together in December for a certain wedding! : )

It was the best time I have had since I have become engaged. Not that I don't love being engaged to CB, because I do, but being engaged has brought on so much family strife that I have to deal with almost on a bi-weekly basis, and I have cried more since being engaged than I have in a long time. Again, not because of CB, but because of my family and because I hadn't had my dearest friends here to celebrate. Their surprise weekend was exactly what I was needing and I am so incredibly grateful for them Thanks whores. I love you both. 

The next week was good because I finally caught up with grading and what not, and CB got his official assignment for his first medical rotation. Let me explain:

3rd and 4th year of medical school consists of 6-8 week clinical rotations through all different medical specialties. Basically the general areas which one might go into for their residency. Because CB is in the military, and attends a medical school which is owned by Congress, he does those rotations in any number of military hospitals around the country, with a few participating civilian hospitals. He and I have been pulling for a certain hospital in a certain city in south Texas, and because his lottery number (how they assign the spots and locations) was good for this first rotation, he got his first choice. So it looks like he will be doing General Surgery. Happpy!!!!!

Now for the other bit: I will be relocating in June to be with him, as our 2 years of long distance are up. When we started this long distance, we agreed that 2 years was our maximum limit. No longer than 2 years. I am so relieved those 2 years are over as well, I don't know that I could've done much longer. I would have if I had to, but I don't have to. I told him from the very beginning that I would not relocate if we weren't engaged either- not trying to pressure him, but being very clear that I was not going to pick up my life and leave a good job unless I had good reason. Obviously, this came way sooner than the 2 year long distance mark. As such... I am currently looking for a J.O.B. in San Antonio... if anyone knows anyone looking for a Latin teacher down there, let me know. 

So that is all my happy news. I love my friends. I love my wedding dress. And I can't wait to move. 

Wedding Dressssssssssssssssss

I found my wedding dress today.

I wish I could post a picture of it... but I have to be careful so that CB doesn't see it. 

But I can tell you that I randomly picked this dress as a 6th option to try on, having never seen it in a magazine or anything, but liking some little details on it. 

It was the last dress I tried on, and I already had two strong frontrunners for the dress category... and then the lady pulled this dress over my head and I believe my words were, "Oh my gosh."

Annnd that is the dress. It made me teary and everything. And it's within the budget. Yesss.

Buying it on Wednesday. : )

Operation Pre-B Party

Hi. I'm getting married in less than a year.

My best friends flew in from Paris, France and Florida to surprise me after work on Thursday.

They told me I wasn't going to work on Friday. 

And they are full tricks. Not the bad kind of 'tricks' though.

Details later.

Thoughts on returning to school after a 2 week break.

I'm exhausted.

And I have a mountain of grading, which is impossible for me to finish by the time grades are due for last semester. Fantastic. 

Meanwhile,

I made chicken last night- the healthy kind. It was pretty good. 

Personal Training: Round 2

I made it through an entire personal training session! Without causing a scene!

Meanwhile, my trainer keeps getting onto me because I don't log what I am eating into the thing that I'm supposed to (honestly, it is just a hassle).  I told her flat out that I love pizza and hush puppies, and she can't take them away. Then she admitted to me that she ordered Papa John's last night, and that it was okay if I wanted to eat those things, but only every once in awhile... not say, once a week (guilty look). 

Tonight I am trying to cook something healthy- per trainer's suggestion. I am making chicken and broccoli marinated in an herb and garlic marinade. We'll see how it goes. Just in case, I am making a side of stuffing. Delicious. 

Working out is the one freaking thing I can't ever dedicate myself to consistently. I dedicated myself to reading consistently. I have dedicated myself to cleaning my apt regularly (ish). Until I was engaged, I was dedicated to grading on a regular basis. But working out- eeeesh. That I cannot seem to commit to. 

I do like my trainer though... so maybe I will stick with her for awhile. She even told me today that I am not a bad size- I am a good size, but that I just need to tone up. I wanted to kiss her. 

You know you are a part of someone's family when:

They take a family portrait, which includes you and your dog, and have it made into a throw blanket for the grandmother.  

: )

Happy to be becoming a Brooks. 

On the New Year, Long Distance, and general ramblings.

Happy 2009 everyone! 2 days too late! 

I have been slow with writing because CB has been here for the past week or so, and since it is rare I get to spend more than 2 days with him... I chose to spend most every minute with him rather than blogging about it. 

2009 is going to be a huge year. Something about odd years for CB and I... they contain a lot. 

In 2007, we graduated from college, he moved to DC, I moved into my own place in my city, he started medical school, I started teaching.

We started long distance that summer.

I struggled so much through that summer. Many tears, doubts and worries overcame me time and again. I couldn't bear the sadness in my heart- the lack of wholeness I felt with CB gone in another state, seemingly living a completely different life.  CB was undescribably patient through the whole thing. Through my crazy phone calls. Through the excessive crying. All the while telling me that it was okay to be missy, and that he and I weren't drifting apart, etc.

And then Fall came and I started teaching. The tears, doubts and worries didn't immediately rush away, but gradually I worked them out of my system, because really, who wants to live their life like that?

2008 was important for many reasons, namely CB and I getting engaged towards the end, but overall- life went on as it had for the majority of 2007. CB med schooling. Me teaching. Me living life in Dallas, and getting quite used to it, and CB living life in DC. 

2009  is a little more significant- like 2007. Odd numbers.

CB and I will move to the same city for the first time in 2 years. I will leave my teaching job and find one in this new place (to be announced later this month). CB will still be in medical school, but entering a new, entirely different phase of it. This phase is called 'clerkships.' He will rotate through 8 specialities over the course of the year, most likely beginning with general surgury, and he will switch hospital locations a time or two... meaning small spurts of long distance, but nothing compared to two long years. 

He and I will get married at the very end of 2009. 

And it seems that 2009 is beginning with tears, doubts and worries just as the summer of 2007 contained. 

While CB was here I had a bit of a mini-breakdown. This time, all the upset being over the complete opposite (and some not so opposite) of that in 2007. 

What if I am too used to living on my own? What if I can't stand living with someone else? I am too used to the long distance- I don't miss him or long for him like I always have?! Where are the lovey feelings which used to consume my heart 100% of the time?! He is continually giving of himself- helpful, kind, patient- and I all could seem to muster was lukewarm appreciation. What if I didn't love him the same anymore?! WHAT WAS WRONG WITH MY HEART?! WHERE DID IT GO?!

Horrifying. Because I have always always felt so incredibly in love with him. Always. Because I have most all of the time felt those lovey feelings in my heart.  Because I have always missed him- from the depths of my heart missed him- when we are apart. Because I always wanted to be giving of myself in return- helpful, kind, patient, loving, appreciative.  

All these new feelings of fear jumped on me while we were driving back from the ranch yesterday and I broke down into tears and told him. He was very saddened by my words, which made me cry even more. 

We talked for a long time in the parking lot of a VFW meeting place in the middle of country, Texas. Only 5 months left of long distance. 5 months in comparison to the year and half we have come.  I know in my head that I love him, I know I want to be with him forever. Whatever happens, however we have to adjust to being in the same city, we will do it. And that perhaps I have made myself so busy so I wouldn't let myself feel the longing. In doing so, I have handicapped myself. 

It is okay to long. It is okay to miss. It is okay to feel sadness because I don't want this other person to be far away. 

I took on a lot this academic year. Lots of tutoring, lots of classes, lots of grading, lots of things to occupy nearly every minute of my days. I did it so I wouldn't feel sad and missy. I am wishing right now that I had left myself some time every day to miss CB. 

When we talked, he was encouraging to me. Reminding me that you don't always feel 100% lovey all the time in your heart when you are with someone forever. That you have to know in your head that you love a person and commit to that love, and the lovey feelings and warmness will return in time.  And he told me that he wasn't worried about me not loving him or forever being lukewarm- he knew that I would return to my normal self. I think that last part made me feel the most better. Confidence that I will return. 

And really, I love CB. So so so very much. I just got scared for a second. 

So yeah. There's all that. Odd years are scary. And we have 2011 to look forward to...

2011: Graduating medical school, beginning residency, and moving: round 2. Neat.

In more positive news:

I am feeling MUCH better today, even though CB returned to DC. I do miss him a lot. I am ready for this distance crap to be over. 

A teacher friend of mine was contacted by some important-ish guy in the city which I will most likely be relocating to this summer (remaining undisclosed until confirmation). He needs a Latin teacher. She told him she has a very likely prospect for him and that I will contact him soon. EEEEE! JOB!

The reception site is coming closer and closer to fruition. If I would just email the effing lady the proposed menu so she could give and estimate, we could pay a down payment and sign the contract. Oh, and for those who are wondering: Tower Club is the winner. 

School starts back on Monday- UGGGH. I haven't graded finals either. Guess what I will be doing today? : )