2 Things

1. CB passed his Step 1 test with a 200!!!!! For those who don't have a clue what I mean by that, click on the link and read what I mean. This is HUGE. It means a hopefully very good chance of CB continuing on in 3rd year. I just want to walk around gloating and say, "See? He knows his stuff." But I am going to try to remain humble, and just say a lot of 'Thank yous' to God, for answering prayers, and continue to hope for the best but prepare myself mentally for the worst.

2. On applying to Christian schools...

Look, I went to a Christian high school. I've been to church and youth group. I really and truly believe in God and Jesus Christ and salvation by faith in God's grace and sacrifice for man's depravity. I do.

BUT. Appyling to Christian schools wears me out thoroughly. (I hear my high school teachers' hearts beating faster as we speak and their gasps of disapproval). I know that being a Christian school and all, it is almost a given that there will be questions about one's beliefs and faith. I know that there will be a point where you have to sign that you will abide by Biblical standards and live your life befitting of the title "Christian." By the way, what does that even mean? Aren't Christians sinners? Aren't Christians capable of falling short and screwing it all up? Don't we tout the idea that the whole impetus for Jesus in the first place is that none of us gets it right? How then can a reasonable Christian sign a statements saying they will abstain from all that is deemed "bad" or "immoral" or "sinful" when it is in their very nature to do so because duh! they recognize their need for God's grace? Anyways, I digress.

What gets me all worn out and want to not teach at a Christian school are the parts where I have to attach an essay about my thoughts and beliefs concerning all of the following:

- use of drugs, tobacco, and alcohol (well, drugs are bad. Alcohol is okay in moderation. And tobacoo kills. So do drugs. In fact, so does alcohol.)

- freedom of speech and censorship (I am a huge proponet of free speech and little censorship).

- pre-marital sexual relations (You know, it's best not to do this. Screws with your emotions and what not and according to the Bible, makes you an adulterer. But again, most of us don't get it right, and if you don't? It makes you a sinner, like everyone else. It doesn't make you a bad person.)

- modesty and appearance (Don't dress like a floozy.)

- divorce and remarriage (My parents are divorced. I think sometimes it is necessary.)

- abortion and euthanasia (Not a fan)

- origins (creation v. evolution) (The neverending debate. But why can't it be both? God created and is involved in the world, but He, in His magnificent wisdom, created complex, beautiful creatures that adapt to their surrounding and make adjustments as necessary).

- homosexuality (I'm all for gay rights. I don't think it is as God intended, but I don't judge, lest my sins be judged by others).

- personal debt (I don't want it. I don't think you're going to hell if you have it)

- honesty and discretion (Honesty is the BEST policy)

- roles of men and women in the home and other ministries (sigh. ROLES IN THE HOME? My husband does the dishes. He cleans. He cooks better than I do. Wtf is this supposed to mean?)

- ENTERTAINMENT (music, television, movies, etc.) (I just have to shake my head at this. Some things are inappropriate, some are not. Choose wisely.)

You want my real answer? I believe that we are all sinners and we are never going to get it right. I believe at some point in our lives, most of us will have some exposure to or experience with one or more, if not all, of the above. I believe that as a Christian, we can recognize where we've gone wrong and do our best to fix it, but, at the end of the day, we are flawed. Thank you, God for your help. Why, school, do you need to know my every little opinion, IN WRITING, of all these things? AND, what if I am a different denomination than you? That would drastically change some of my opinions on these things. Why can't we all just get along? It is always the same with Christians, hung up on the details, missing the big picture.

The last school I taught at was a Christian school. The application was wholly reasonable. I appreciated it even. It asked about drugs and alcohol and homosexuality, etc., but did not nitpick every hot topic in Christianity today. And the school? Had a policy that certain controversial things weren't to be discussed, but referred to the parents. I would prefer that over trying to micro-manage every faculty members' moral beliefs concerning these issues. I mean, some are obvious: abortion, drugs, any illegal behavior, etc. But some aren't so clear these days. I suppose that may be what they are trying to get at.

Anyways. I went into teaching to make a difference in kids' lives, not manage their beliefs. If, in the end, I influence some young people towards heaven, that is spectacular. Amazing even. But in the meantime, I want to help build their self-confidence, self-discipline, their brain, their social skills, and their decision making abilities. I want to make responsible citizens of the world. There are kids out there who don't have loving parents to help them do their homework or get them to school on time, dressed appropriately. For me, it's enough to let those kids know they're loved and wanted somewhere. Why do I love them? Because as a Christian I am called to love them. Do I need to vocalize that for it to happen? No. I simply love them and let God do the rest.

I believe more than anything, God wants us to love people, not judge people. We do our best to get it right, but in the end, it is grace that saves us.

Oh, and I am seriously rethinking applying to this school. Because in truth, I am guilty of participating in some of the aforementioned items. I don't want to have to lie by omitting my own deeds and give a perfect answer. I could write you a perfect answer, sure, but it wouldn't be true to my life and who I am. I know I need a job, but it is more important to me to have a morally clear concious than give the perfect Christian answer, even when I haven't lived by it.

Note: The opinions expressed here are my own, and not reflective of all Christians, or possibly even most Christians. I am genuinely sorry if I have offended you in some way.