Current Status

I am sick. Sick with a one of those random viruses that wanders all over.

It started with a tingly weird feeling in my chest- like I needed cough badly, but couldn't.

Rapidly, it developed into severe aching throughout my body (sounds like the flu, right? wrong.)

Next day the aches were gone, but a phlegmy cough and runny nose had set in. 

That brings me to today, I am about the same as yesterday. Except any kind of activity for more than an hour causes me to pass out for 2 hours.

My other status is that I NEED A J.O.B. Specifically a teaching one. Specifically in one southern area of this great state. 

My current school is handing out the contracts for next year at the end of this month, and I won't be getting one. Not because I'm a bad teacher- actually, I received a phenomenol review from my boss- but because I am leaving, and my school has been made aware. Well, the admin has, not so much the students yet. 

I'm not going to lie, it is going to be depressing not getting a large white envelope with a contract, a salary, and courses to teach listed on it. 

And it will be even more depressing as other teachers turn those contracts in and I shift back and forth nervously in my chair because I have NO IDEA what I am going to be doing for a living come next August. 

Meanwhile, all I can do is look and work on my resume. But wait- how the EFF do I fit all this crap I do onto a resume now? How do I make it look presentable? Teacher's resumes are slightly different than business resumes, and mine is even more different because technically? I don't have a certification.  Which brings me to the other order of business: Alternative Teaching Certification? Do I want to teach public or private? How do I go about applying for the ATC? Can I still apply for a teaching job for '09-'10 if I am just starting an ATC? 

Answers:

I have looked into the ATC. I have the required SAT score (I know, who thought that might apply now?). They do offer a Latin TExES/EtCET exam.  

I will teach at whatever place hires me: public or private. Unless there is a likely chance I will be assaulted.

I do not know if I can apply for teaching jobs while in the process of getting an ATC.

I cannot even begin applying for the ATC until March 1, 2009. 

Arrrrrrg. Too many things to worry about. Not to mention moving in 4-ish months. Not to mention finding somewhere to live. Not to mention packing my entire mess of an apartment. Sheesh. 

Good News, Bad News

Good News:

I am working out consistently. Even before school on a LOT of days.

I am eating better.

I have this thing called a BodyBugg... basically it's an armband I wear all day everyday. It not only keeps track of things like my steps- aka: pedometer- it keeps track of ALL the calories I burn in a day. It is 97% accurate. 

I burned 2,777 calories yesterday. That is with a short 30 minute workout before school. And just doing what I do every day.  Yea, that's right. I burn a TON of calories when I teach.

I haven't had a Coke in 6 days.

Bad News:

I haven't had a Coke in 6 days.

Given that I burn at least 2250 calories everday... I was eating like a BILLION calories. Okay, not a billion, but a lot.

Something is wrong with my eyes. They are all red and achey.  Can't wear contacts.

My glasses won't stay on my face.

Ordering new glasses today won't change a thing, as they probably won't come in for a week. After my eyes are better.

A flashing sign

When I was in high school I had a Bible teacher who always said, "What if everyone walked around with their top 10 worst sins flashing above them?"

As an adult, I now appreciate that question more than ever. If everyone walked around with their top 10 worst sins flashing above them, people could be more genuine. I could be more genuine. As it stands, we do not walk around with those signs, and though I do not find myself to be a bad or immoral person, I know that there are many who would find some choices I have made to be bad or immoral. That sucks. And ultimately, I do realize it is not about whether I find myself to be good or moral, or whether other people find me to be bad or immoral, it is about what the all-knowing, all-loving, and all-forgiving God thinks, and it is about my faith in Him, not any of our measly opinions. 

But while we are here... it would make life a lot easier just to be genuine. To be able to say, "Hey. This is who I am, and these are the choices I have made, both good and bad." would be the most refreshing, soothing, and freeing feeling of all. To have no one look down on me, or judge me, or speak ill of me because of those choices, but rather to embrace and understand and love anyway because they themselves have made their own set of choices- good and bad- and they don't want to be judged either- that would be heavenly. 

Meanwhile, that is impossible. We can't truly be open about who we are or the choices we make because there are people out there who judge. People who whisper. People who scorn you. People who look down there noses and shake their head in disappointment. And by people? I mean Christians, which is the saddest part of all. 

Mid-week update

Uhhh... today was my day off of working out. I slept in till 6:30 am, leisurely got up and went about my day, ANNND now it is 8 pm and all I can think about is how I do NOT want to get up at the crack dawn- before dawn really- to go to the gym. And I don't want to pick out my clothes for tomorrow. And basically I just want to lay horizontally on my couch.

But alas- I will work to make myself go, because I did feel better yesterday when I did it. And because I am pretty sure that doing this working out stuff, and eating better-ish has been working. So we'll see. Say some prayers that I wake up and feel motivated. Thanks bye. 

Success!

I did it. I got up this morning at 6am, went the gym and walked on the treadmill for 25 minutes. Walked fast though- got the heartrate up and what not. It was good, and amazingly, I really liked it a lot. I will definitely do it again. Not tomorrow, because that is my day off as I have worked out every day since Saturday. But Thursday, I will be waking early. Happpppy! I found a decent time to workout I think. Because really, after school is just not going to happen. 

Oops.

Personal trainer is mad at me for gaining 4 lbs rather than losing 2. Crap.

Thus I am having cheerios for dinner from now till eternity.

But more seriously... I have a plan. Don't laugh at my plan either because I am really going to try.

My biggest problem when it comes to working out is motivation. After school, after tutoring, after meetings, the LAST thing I want to do is change into gym clothes and have myself a workout. All I want to do is go home and lie horizontally on my couch. And then grade. Or make a test.

SO... the thought is this... I already wake up around 6:20ish in the am. If I can work it so I go to bed earlier, say 10pm as opposed to 10:30 or 11pm, I can wake up around 6am. Walk Rom, brush teeth, change into gym clothes and grab my bag of work clothes, makeup, etc (which I will have already packed the night before). Get to the gym, do cardio for 30 minutes and maybe tack on one good exercise like chest or shoulders or arms- to prepare for my dazzling strapless wedding gown. I don't sweat like a fiend, so I don't imagine that I will be super gross after a light workout, so I will wipe myself down, put on some deoderant, change into work clothes, do my makeup, etc. and off I go to start my day at school, most likely arriving around 7:20am, per usual. And before you die laughing because you don't think I will wake up every weekday morning at 6, please consider that I only plan on doing it 2-3 times a week. Then my actual workouts will take place on the weekend when I have significantly more motivation to do stuff.

I am actually pretty excited about this plan, and I think I might actually even feel better in the day after having worked out in the am. Maybe.

And then maybe I won't gain 4 lbs. Especially if I chow down on Cheerios? 

How I miss the days of cheerleading, being a teenager, and eating like a pig and never gaining an ounce of weight. Where are you, 16 year old body?  (I already know the answer and that is: I am never coming back, Lauren, because you are not 16.)

Newest additions to the wedding party!

I have a flower girl! And a ring bearer (hopefully... as that has not been confirmed quite yet).

This precious little girl will be my flower girl:

She is the daughter of my former cheerleading sponsor in high school, whom I was very close to throughout those years. After I graduated she went and got married and now has a beautiful daughter who will make the perfect flower throwing child. 

*Hopefully* the ring bearer will be this cute boy, sans Yoda hat:

I just chose that picture because I think the Yoda hat is hilarious. But he is pretty cute and is already friends with the flower girl. Hopefully they can make it down the aisle together.  This boy is the son of another one of my teachers in high school who was a favorite of us students.

Many of you might be shocked at my decision to add a ring bearer, as you know of my loathing of the stupid pillow ring bearers have to hold. But I figured it would be adorable to have these two 2 1/2 and 3 year olds trying to make it down the aisle together, and they make the pictures super cute. So there you go. I changed my mind, especially since I am connected to the parents of the kids.

YAYYYYY for a complete wedding party!