2 Months of being Married

Today marks 2 months of officially being married to CB.

What did I think about when I first woke up this morning?

I turn 25 exactly 2 months from today. I realized, oh, 4 hours later that it is ALSO the 2 month marker. I'm an awesome wife.

Thoughts on the first 2 months?

Well, living in a house with someone else is a lot of work. And compromise. Or you do neither and you end up with a pile of dishes in the sink and you don't do laundry for 3-ish weeks. Luckily, neither CB nor I are extreme sticklers for having everything look perfect all the time. Thank you God. Our house isn't nasty by any means. But yea, laundry takes a back seat. We forget to take out the trash to the road EVERY SINGLE WEEK. BOTH TIMES. And then, one of us finally remembers the day before and we end up with Trash City at the end of our driveway. Seriously. Trashiest neighbors on the block. In that respect. We just took the trash to the road last night for the first time in say, 2 weeks? Maybe 3? (Note: We do indeed take the trash out of our trashcans several times a week. But it goes outside in the big trashcan. And next to the trashcan. And in the big cardboard boxes that all our new china came in. You get the picture. And that trash pile? Not visible to neighbors or from inside our house.)

Mostly CB and I agree on how things should be cleaned and when things should be cleaned. If he comes home and I forgot (read: didn't feel like) doing the dishes that morning. He doesn't flip out or think I'm the worst wife ever. He just shrugs and says he doesn't judge me. Then I do the dishes because I think, gosh, what a marvelous husband.

We are currently going through the pre-marital counseling that couples normally go through actually pre-maritally. We, obviously, are already married. But no bother. Our chaplain is awesome and supports us already being married and does pre-marital/marital counseling with us anyway. Via Skype. Part of the process is these 3 tests. We have taken them already and the first one we are working with in our session is the personality test. I am an INFP. Yea. Funky letters that mean: Introvert. Intuition. Feelings. Perception. This apparently means that I recharge myself, my batteries, if you will, by being alone. I don't mind being sociable, but I definitely need a lot of me time to feel centered. Intuition is my means of gathering information. I follow my intuition more so than sensory perception (yea, I dont really know what that means either.) Feelings indicates how I make decisions. Anyone who knows me could've guessed this. And Perception is.... something that I can't remember. Yea. So, that's me. CB? Complete opposite. He is an ENTJ. The only thing we have in common is that Intuition business. Basically he recharges by being around people, he makes decisions based on thinking, and um... Judgment is his last one and again, who knows whatever that indicates.

All that to say, that in the past 2 weeks we have spent a great deal of time discussing and observing differences in our personalities and how things work with each of us. It has been interesting. Basically CB is the rational problem solver. I am the feeling, introspective, let's mull for awhile different sort. And as one could guess, we don't handle most things the same. So we spend a great deal of time figuring out how we will communicate with one another best and how we will handle conflict. CB is the one, it turns out, who is having to be the most flexible in learning to work with me. But he is great at it.

Overall? The past 2 months have been wonderful, though not perfect. We have argued. I have indeed cried because my feelings were hurt. Our house has been perfectly clean and immaculate, and then it has been very... lived in. He has had to ask me to spend a little bit less money. I have had to ask him to please, please, please remember to shut the shower curtain when he gets out of the shower and remember to pick the floor towel up off the floor. But I do love it. And I love him. And I look forward to learning more about how exactly to be married to him.

Oh... and this other thing. CB flys out this afternoon to go back to DC. Tomorrow morning he is having his appeal meeting with the promotions board at his school. Remember way back when everything fell apart and he was recommended for disenrollment, but that he would start 3rd year and he would take the Step 1 and depending on his performance there things may or may not turn out okay? Well, this is the follow meeting where they review his Step 1 score and all the other grades they didn't see thus didn't include in their assessment of him last time. Luckily, his Step 1 score is great and those other grades include several Bs in very important classes. But still. I don't exactly trust the board or the dean who is continually assuring CB that things are going to turn out fine since he did well on Step 1. After all, he was assured by that same dean last time that he would be fine. And then he wasn't.

So here I am again, asking you to pray, cross your fingers, rub your rabbit's foot that things go well for CB. He has done a phenomenal job in 3rd year so far. The doctors supervising him and working with him have loved him and given him much praise for how much he knows and what a good attitude he has and how he is skilled. If only that word could get back to board in time. Anyways. Please pray and send good vibes out into the world that things go okay for CB. I appreciate it, thanks.

The Spin Cycle

For all the good that has been going on lately- the new job- yay!- I feel like my life is spinning out of control around me. Our office floor is covered in school supplies. $228 worth of school supplies that should've been only $100 or $150 or so in school supplies. I have a bag full of elementary school curriculum that I haven't even touched. I need to take an EC-4 generalist practice test (b/c oh, by the way, this next year of teaching WILL count towards my certification- YAY- but, I have to take another test for it to really count, since I am doing elementary and not secondary- BOO). I need to schedule a time to take the actual test, if the practice test goes well. There is a massive pile of laundry to do. I need to do the dishes. I need to take a shower. I need to go up to the school to turn in my signed contract and paperwork. I need to go up to the school to meet the cheerleaders. I need to unpack from my trip. I need to clean our bedroom. I need to figure out more stuff for my wedding. I need to clean off my desk because I can't even see it anymore. I need to wash the guest bedroom sheets. I need to clean the cat box. I need more than 2 weeks before school starts. I need to plan out how I am going to teach elementary school kids. I need to organize my school stuff from my last school to see what I can and can't reuse. I need to organize the office overall. I need to figure out how I am going to be a traveling teacher without a classroom to call my own. I need to... I need to... I need to... BAIEHJGFEDVIOSHGIIURVG.

And that is the state of my mind right now. Like the spin cycle of a washing machine... only less methodical.

Writing to no one

So, lately I get the feeling that I am writing to empty space... an abounding mass of time and space where I am the only participant and no one listens. But, that's okay. This idea of no one reading what I had to say used to urk me... but really, I think I'm okay with it.

Tonight I commented on my cousin-in-law's facebook. He posted a link about a woman in Britain who gave birth on the pavement in front of a hospital because they wouldn't send an ambulance. It sparked a large disagreement/debate about healthcare and the current situation in the United States. I most always keep my mouth shut in such instances, because quite frankly, I don't want a bunch of people yelling at me for my opinion, and I don't want to argue with people who have no chance of seeing the other side. But today there was something inside of me... something that spurred me to say something. And then 4 more somethings. Not because I had something to say about the proposed healthcare reforms and what not, but because I disagreed with a statement one guy had made about the current healthcare system.

The minute I wrote all of it, I turned to CB and said, "I'm such an idiot. Why did I write all that? What if I didn't even address the argument correctly? What if a bunch of people now comment back and hurt my feelings because they're rude?" The bottom line is, I have serious opinions and beliefs... but I don't know how keen I am on the idea of people getting to nitpick at them. Which is why I find myself likened to the idea of few people, or no one, reading this. I can write meaningless stuff and no one calls me shallow or lame, and I can complain about things, write about Christianity or whatever, and no one challenges me or makes me feel bad for thinking a certain way.

That is such a cop-out I know. But for now it is comfortable. There is a voice inside me that is saying, "LAAAMMMMMEEEE LB, how will you ever make a difference if you don't stand up for what you believe in??!?" And to that voice I say, "I most certainly stand up for what I believe in when it counts. But throwing out my opinion in an arena where it will do nothing but stir up dissenssion amongst people who don't have any control over any of it... I will pass."

I used to argue with anything anyone said that I disagreed with. I learned over time that this act- arguing with everyone who disagrees with my point of view- gets me absolutely nowhere. Sometimes you just have to sit and listen to what people have to say, consider their point, and if it is truly worth it and it will truly get both of you somewhere, then share your disagreement respectfully... but if you listen to what they say and you still disagree, you must first decide whether it will truly be of any significance if you take up an argument with that person. If not, politely nod and let it go. And sometimes, albeit rarely, you may just get what they are trying to say and begin to agree.

On Waxing

So listen, I really hate shaving my legs. I loathe it.

Solution? Waxing my legs. This is far to expensive at a professional place, so I want to do it on my own. Unfortunately, I have tried this endeavor several times in my life and I fail every time. It isn't that it hurts to badly... it is that I really just suck at doing it.

I wish someone could help me please.

Some more exciting things, in a rather subdued post

I forgot to mention in my last post that CB and I have officially decided to go to Rome for our honeymoon. We originally had immediately ruled it out because we assumed we would be the ones paying for the honeymoon and, quite frankly, Rome is not something we can afford. But then his dad offered to help pay. And then my ever generous aunt offered to contribute a large amount as well. So as it turned out, we can go almost anywhere we want, particularly Rome. So we are. Why subdued, you ask? Because I am cautious to get my heart set on it until the plane tickets are purchased in our names. I won't believe someone else is paying for our fabulous honeymoon until someone actually has. So, subdued excitement for now.

And now, what I have been waiting months to write, I think I have a job.

I had that meeting yesterday with the head of the school. He asked the lower school director to sit in with us as well, which at the time, didn't set off any bells in my head. We chatted for an hour and a half. Yes, that long. About everything from why and how I became a teacher to what type of students I connect with best in a classroom to what I thought about my first 2 years of teaching. And then they asked me how I felt about elementary school kids.

Um. What?

They explained that it is very clear that teaching Latin, more than anything, is the desire of my heart, but that they had no availability in the middle school or high school as they already have 2 very qualified and well-liked Latin teachers whom they do not intend on losing anytime soon. I don't blame them. In fact, they told me they don't have any positions at all, BUT, that if they did, it would be a position teaching 3rd-5th grade Latin. Yes, that is right, 3rd grade Latin. It is a Classical school thing, trust me. I tried my best not to gawk and kick myself, because naturally, I had said only weeks before that I would never teach below 7th grade, and suddenly here I was, listening to them present a non open teaching position to me that involved 3rd-5th graders. Because I am not stupid, I said that I was open to the idea and that it could be a great learning experience for me. After all, I said I would never teach secondary school at all. I said I would never teach junior high. And then I did both of these things. And I loved it. So who is to say I won't love elementary? God has turned around my plans everytime in regards to things like this, and really, I have prayed for a job. Any job. And I know people having been praying for me to find a job. So really? I take this as a blessing. But remember, it wasn't an actual position as of yesterday. They kept talking to me though and we discussed what it was like to teach elementary age children and what sort of schedule I would have. I asked if I could still have involvement with the high school in extracurricular things, especially something like cheerleading, and their ears perked. Cheerleading? Like, could I coach? Why, yes sir, I can't teach them tumbling, but I can teach them how to stunt, I can teach them how to jump, I can teach them how to cheer, I can make them look good. This seemed to be good news to them, and to the current cheer sponsor (most adorable woman ever). Basically, I was told after an hour and a half of talking and touring the campus and meeting people that they don't officially have a position but they will try to make something work.

Today, as I was filling out the application per their request, I received a phone call from the lower school director. She told me, "I think this is going to work out, if you're interested." My response, "I am definitely interested." She said that they are still waiting on a couple of things to come through, but that she wanted to give me a heads up and tomorrow, when I turn in my application to her, we will sit down and go over somethings and kill two birds with one stone (what that second bird is, I don't know.).

So there you go. A job. Teaching elementary students. Latin. Again, subdued because I haven't yet signed a contract, but still excited.

Any advice about teaching elementary kids?

A lot of things. All at once.

I haven't written in quite awhile, and since then, a lot has been happening. Because I don't feel like writing it out in extensive sentences and details, I will simply list them and expand when I feel like it.

* I hit the side of the garage with my car... again. Rather, I rubbed the side of the garage with the side of my car. Yes, it scratched my car. No, it wasn't bad. Most can't even tell I did anything. Touch up paint will help the 4 small dots of chipped paint missing. I did not cry this time.

* I visited my Latin teacher friends and my family back in my old city. On this visit I ate good food, gained a couple pounds, played games and laughed a lot. I also realized that I am very very very happy where I am now and that I do not miss the city I used to live in... only the people.

*CB and I registered at Macy's, Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond. It was not fun; it was tiring. But I am glad that is done and I wish I could own all the stuff I scanned right this minute.

* I got a speeding ticket driving home from my old city. I was pissed because really? I wasn't trying to speed. The last sign I saw said the speed limit was 70; I was going 74. Not bad. Then I saw the cop with the laser aimed at me... then I saw the 60 mph speed limit sign. Ticket for me. Booooo.

*I was called by the head of a private school in a city near where I live. He wanted to discuss the possibility of a teaching position there for this next year or possibly in the future. I was ecstatic.

* I met with said head of school today. He was a very nice man, as was the other woman who was in our meeting. Turns out they don't technically have a position, BUT, they might be able to work something out. Here's the deal though: the position that would be available if they even could work something out... is in the lower school, teaching 3rd-5th graders. Now, I've only taught junior high and high school. I am not entirely opposed to teaching lower school... it's just that I don't know how? I would be teaching them Latin, of course (don't ask, for those of you that are baffled by that, it is a Classical school thing), but I just don't even know how to talk to a small kid. However, I am not so stupid as to turn a job down just because I am not sure of how to do it or whether I will like it. I thought I would hate teaching junior high... and then I loved it. So maybe this could be good too. Who knows really, it isn't even technically an open position right now. Oh, and I would most likely get to coach cheerleading. Which is phenomenol.

* I am so overwhelmed by all the things I seem to have to do I just want to lay down and sleep.

* I am getting a LOT of wedding stuff done lately. Yay me!

* I will blog more regularly now.

Haven't written in lots of days...

Will write tomorrow AM to fill you in with all the recent happenings. : )